The longer I’m unemployed, the more amoral I feel.
I am so upset to be leaving, practically dreading going home. I have a feeling like someone is about to rip a bandaid off, because I’ve been happier at SOAS than I have been anywhere in my life. The reverse culture shock is going to punch me in the fucking face.
There was a time that I thought I could make it work to stay but the stars have just not aligned, so I have two weeks. I think I’ve been dragging my heels on the dissertation in protest. I’ve been 90% done for about a month.
One of the things I love is that there’s so much possibility here. The feeling that anything can happen and of course there’s the independence.
There’s so many things I’m going to miss and yet, I know I’ll probably be happy once I get to DC too. I’m looking forward to seeing all my own friends and getting out of academia. And one day…
I’ll be back.
For just one second, look at your life and see how perfect it is. Stop looking for the next secret door that is going to lead you to your real life. Stop waiting. This is it: there’s nothing else. It’s here, and you’d better decide to enjoy it or you’re going to be miserable wherever you go, for the rest of your life, forever.
I totally hate when guys say shit to try and goad me into making a first move because they’re too afraid to do it themselves. Being unconfident is a definite turn off.
I’m pretty sure this is the case when someone says something along the lines of, “Oh I’m so shy around women and I’m always afraid of being too forward, I always end up interested in female friends but don’t want to risk ruining it, etc” If an acquaintance or a friend is going to take the time to apologize to me for having no game, I’m going to assume they’re interested but too afraid to do anything about it. Lame.
Otherwise, why is anyone having this conversation?
*This is a recent breakthrough in my INTJ dating understanding.*
In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual’s life energy. Humans connect with humans. Hiding one’s humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting.
björk - virus